It’s Been a Quiet Day in (your location here)


Not sure if anybody has missed ME, but I sure have missed engaging in a one-sided conversation with inhabitants in my small part of the world in where-in my MIND anyway-I am AN INFLUENCER. An influencer without smokey-eyed make-up or kicky shoes, to be sure. Yet here I am, sheltering on this tiny piece of land which remains forever Disney, forever magic, and forever ready to share messages of hope with all the yet-to-be-identified survivors of this difficult time.

The above picture was taken this morning in Manhattan, home of Dread Pirate Metin Negrin, its mood strikingly similar to an image of Town Center Celebration. While Dread Pirate Metin is forbidden to appear on the shores of Lake Rianhard without an obligatory  14 day quarantine, his ill will travels over non-restricted band-width, allowing him to impose nastiness from afar, counting on the Coronavirus to provide a handy assist in his crippling dirty work.

The world is so awry that one can almost feel its axis tipping dangerously. With only the briefest of warnings,  millions of us have found our lives tossing in a virtual tornado of change. Watching episodes of “A Year in Space” I share Scott Kelly’s perspective, the Earth becomes our ceiling, no longer the solid floor where we held an illusory toehold on life.
All of us on planet earth are similarly anxious, and serially giddy with concern for those we love. It a never before experience, this having to worry about the entire world at one time. It is a puzzlement.

What is wonderful to see is the world-wide rise up of goodwill and publicly-distanced displays of affection. I could cry at the persistent small kindnesses encountered while navigating looping circles in the so artfully designed streets of Celebration.

In the midst of all this, we exist at one of the epicenters of unemployment and non-essential businesses, and many Town Center residents are economically gutted for an indeterminate amount of time. Which brings us back to Dread-Pirate Metin Negrin. The milk of human kindness by the quart in his every vein. Rather than put his onerous assessments on hold (definition of onerous-the average Town Center resident will have paid $15,000 in assessments this year) Metin fired across the residents bow, refusing to delay payments for work which cannot even be performed under the current circumstances. Cleary he would like to Coronavirus to save him the work of liening and foreclosing.

It’s a Wonderful Town Center Life

img_9349It will come as a surprise to many that we, The Town Center Condominium Association, do NOT own Town Center. While we noisily-and somewhat invisibly-occupy our modest condominiums, for Metin Negrin we are but a forgotten cipher in the Celebration Town Center financial profit center which belongs to LEXIN CAPITAL. We simply provided him with plus or minus 20 MILLION DOLLARS in Empire Building Capital. And following(metaphorically)his Medical School Graduation, he ditched us.
It’s an old story.
Back in ’04 when Disney made what we now think of as Its Deal With the Devil they-OF COURSE-protected THEIR interests, and in doing that we ASSUMED that well, OURS were protected as well. It certainly read that way as we all reviewed our PURCHASE OPPORTUNITIES.attachment-1
What happened here? How did it come to pass that TCCA, a small voluntary militia weighted down under POUNDS of oppressive Developer-Created governing documents and NO budget, has  been assigned TOTAL responsibility for carrying the Town Center Battle Flag (A shredded blue tarp) while Disney, The Celebration Company, CROA, CNOA and CCMC collectively  observe from a SAFE DISTANCE through HEAVY LENSES/Attorneys?
 Frighteningly enough, it is even not clear if we are all rooting for the SAME side.
ALL the DEED RESTRICTIONS in the World do not function without ENFORCEMENT. CROA understands this and operates-in most cases-accordingly. In Town Center both TCC AND CNOA (a Double-Team) were invested with a BROAD Brush of Enforcement techniques, which remain boldly, monolithically UN-enforced.
And I say, what is the FUN of POWER if you can’t use it? Or WON”T?attachment-1-1-copy
Should we Town Centerites stumble during our Long March for Justice,Celebration Residents-at least all those who understand that their Property Values are symbiotically LASHED to the bow of the very EXISTENCE of Down Town Center “You’ve Got to SEE This Place”Celebration should hope that “The Declarant” gets his game on, as Disney/TCC will have become the last line of defense between the water intrusion, the bugs, and gravity. WE who live here would OFTEN like to pretend that WE do not exist. Like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life”, we imagine a future in which our actions are erased and what I like to call The Metin Negrin Lexin Capital Annuity Profit Center operates in capitalistic free fall.
Because it is not just our homes but ALL  161,943 square feet of Lexin’s Premium Commercial Real Estate which are seriously compromised. Unlike residences, Commercial Real Estate derives its market value from Net Operating Income, NOT FROM how well the structures are maintained. Show him the money, NOT the maintenance. In his world Cardboard or Granite, makes no difference. It is the INCOME. Clearly Mr. Negrin appears to have mastered living “In The Moment”.
On a side note Lexin property values dropped this year, hence his property taxes. GOOD for him, as, KA-CHING there is another $200,000. moved to HIS side of the Balance Sheet.

Every Picture Tells a Story 5/No Visible Means Of Support


The Osceola County Building Commission has been noticing code and dangerous building violations for 660 Celebration Avenue for-and I am not making this up-YEARS. In a LOOOONG report our engineers noted a “danger of imminent collapse” which sounds scary to ME yet does not appear to be of any particular concern to LEXIN, whose Top-Notch team installed court ordered shoring as a STOP-GAP measure.

We ALL know just what a MAGICAL town this is, yet do not always fully appreciate  just how strong that magic IS, as Lexin-Powered-Warm-Air is currently holding up the balconies. Lexin ASSURED the County this is “safe”. Screen Shot 2016-11-27 at 9.19.19 AM.png

Every Picture Tells a Story/4-TC Weekend DIY Project


WHO does not love to fix up their place. Today this Town Center owner embarked on just such a merry adventure. It turns out that SOMETIMES a new coat of paint is just not going to help. Sometimes drywall just refuses to be REPAIRED, preferring to disintegrate. And NOW you are in trouble, because NOW what you are looking at does not BELONG to you, THIS part belongs to LEXIN.


Every Picture Tells a Story/3. Happy Thanksgiving.


It is truly a most spectacular morning here in Celebration, and there is a great deal to be thankful for-The courts are closed, the attorneys all off duty AND there is NO rain in the forecast, allowing Town Center residents to relax and work on capturing one of the neighborhood turkeys instead of focusing on re-arranging plastic sheets over their bedding.

And I have begun my holiday decorations, this year using a “Shabby Chic” theme as I am repurposing some of Lexin’s disintegrated roof tarps-pieces of which have been deposited all over Town Center thanks to Time, the Florida Sun and Prevailing Breezes.

This is the THIRD set of tarps by the way. Lexin must REALLY care about us, can you imagine paying for them THREE times? It must have used up the funds for the missing spire over the Market  Street Cafe (in the background) scheduled to be replaced on 7/1/2016.

Every Picture Tells a Story/2


Residents and visitors alike often assume that just because you can’t SEE a problem, it isn’t REAL. Lexin does not seem eager for us to get a GOOD look at just how our “structural elements” are aging. The TRUTH is, not too well. This was a support column in 611 Campus Street. The termite have moved on, they ate everything they could.

It’ s Complicated.

Me on my porch with image of beloved Town Center Jig Lift on the left. (All Town Center Residents share in the lift’s approximately $1500 monthly rental cost although I have never had a turn driving it.
Laurel Rousseau, our real-life hero, leaning on end of 709 Bloom Street as a “structural assist”-temporary, but then what isn’t?
The Wall Street Journal published an article about the Town Center Implosion/Explosion/Brouhaha/Debacle/Travesty/Ticking Time Bomb/Who Struck John Story/Boschian Situation this morning, and I am grateful for their attention, although the excruciating technicalities of our story can hardly be explained in one brief article, even if it does include a photo of me. (pretty nice one too.)
Therefore, as so often occurs in ANY Town Center Discussion, the introduction of,say, TEN FACTS results in (at least) 187 three part questions, and an equal number of comments, generally divided among the following three groups; #1-The hopelessly self-congratulatory who would NEVER buy a wood house, especially in, whatareya nuts?, Florida, #2-Those who always FORCE THEIR Condo  Board to bury copious reserves in the swamp for safekeeping, and #3- The ones who VISITED Celebration but, being VISIONARIES saw the highway of problems laid out before them like the yellow brick road, and ran for their lives. This group inevitably references either “The Stepford Wives” or “The Truman Show”. (Noting their choices also allows them to be clearly identified as “Boomers” or “Millenials”, information which may well come in handy for the algorithm I am constructing)
 And to responders one and all I say THANK YOU! And good try. LIFE in Town Center is, sigh, COMPLICATED. It is SO COMPLICATED that rather than us settling in at the Court House in Kissimmee for a lengthy, HOMETOWN kind of trial-picture Clarence Darrow perspiring, fan in one hand in the high, high ceilinged old courthouse, fighting for OUR side I am confident-TCCA will be trucked off to the Big City, to the Orange County Complex Business Court. Because, as I have said, we are COMPLEX.
MEANWHILE, up in the BIG APPLE, Metin Negrin stores the Lexin Mantle of Perpetual Victimhood  in a convenient desk drawer, slipping it on over his head whenever a performance as the Managing Director of Lexin Capital AND President of the Town Center Foundation threatens to be evaluated in a LEGAL sort of way. Mantle in place, Mr Negrin cries out loudly that HE is the true victim here, after all WHO KNEW?
To which all Unit Owners, like the frogs in an Aristophanean chorus call out in one voice, YOU!
YOU are the one who was supposed to know.
YOU are the one who read the contracts,
YOU are the one who performed the inspections,
YOU are the one who made the budgets,
YOU are the controller of every decision.
And I apologize as we Unit Owners have not yet fully mastered the “chorus meter” but I believe our point remains obvious.
We excited future owners had NO IDEA he was SUCH a victim. WE all thought he was a skilled business man with PLENTY of  the expertise and advanced organizational skills required to assume his rightful place as Our Leader. We had confidence that Disney MUST have vetted him, performing Due Diligence Extraordinaire regarding his intentions as well as his abilities, so detailed that it examined him right down to his mitochondria before handing over the keys to OUR part of the Magic Kingdom. Disney had to KNOW, to rest assured that Mr. Negrin possessed the chutzpah and grit to identify, obtain and oversee a top-notch team skilled in property management and asset preservation, in accurate and anticipatory budgeting and planning and RECORDKEEPING as these basic fundamentals of Property Management  were ALL to be in his wheelhouse. Being in CONTROL was the job which he coveted, and which none of us asked him to take. His selection as the Dalai Metin was memorialized in Osceola County Documentary Stone before the first person bought the first Town Center Condominium.
Indeed, every word of the historical documents which govern Celebration Town Center, The Town Center Condominium Association and The Town Center Foundation were created under his direction, and crafted to remain under his direction in perpetuity.
So TCF exists, Metin is a Member (Class B), AND TCCA Unit Owners are ALSO Members (ClassA)and we exist on an imaginary Level Playing Field, with consensus just a friendly vote away.
There has been far too much talk about VOTES around here lately, which makes me hesitate to even bring it up. But I believe you will find that voting in Town Center comes with absolutely NONE of the  contentious, Facebook unfriending possibilities  which have been problematic in other elections. I have made a little CHART here which I believe illustrates just how SIMPLE Lexin has made the often tedious tabulation process.screen-shot-2016-11-17-at-10-29-59-am 

And while every one of these documents was written by Lexin employed attorneys, and artfully designed to give Lexin 100% control over the FOUNDATION, which in turn has 100% control over the Residential Owners.
He appears to LOVE and NEED the implied control,while-in my opinion-ignoring the corresponding statutory OBLIGATIONS.
When the nights are chill and the rain is pouring through the roof we find comfort simply reviewing Florida Statutes which GOVERN 617 Not-For-Profit Corporations-which is how The Town Center Foundation is defined by Lexin and its attorneys.
Because when you READ Florida Statutory Law, you feel GOOD. TCF is looking out for us, in every way on every day, after all Metin and his Board-mates have all sworn to
Act in Good Faith
Accept the Duty of Care and show
Good Faith and Loyalty in the BEST Interests of the Corporation.
How can this go wrong, right?

Running in Place


13015169_1202591883114894_6170326588927552849_nIt has come to my attention that there exists (VERY understandably) some MASS confusion, coincidental with a smaller, but significant amount of MASS HYSTERIA as residents struggle to tell the difference between  Celebration’s TWO Foundations.

As a dualist I believe I can make the identification process easier than getting a letter from CROA about your mailbox.   Personal Opinion is heavily in use here, so please resist being offended, and should you be offended-to paraphrase  Harrison Ford in “Air Force One”-Get off my plane.

Town Center Foundation= Bad

The Celebration Foundation= Good

The chasm between the two organizations is wider than Kim Kardashians stunning butt, a chasm SO wide that it would take DAYS to cross on a mule, and by the time you reach your destination-very much like the unfortunate Tassel-eared  Kaibab squirrels- evolutionarily marooned on the NORTH RIM of the Grand Canyon-you will no longer recognize your South Rim Kaibab cousins (SHOULD you actually survive the trip.)

screen-shot-2016-09-17-at-12-55-04-pmAnd SPEAKING of evolution, 20 years into our shared Project Named Celebration, several of our Cornerstones have not so much “evolved” as “devolved”, and bring to mind Michael Keaton in “Multiplicity”, having been replicated far too many times, corrupting their images, their structural integrity compromised beyond recognition.



This has NEVER been true about  The Celebration Foundation which has grown continuously and organically, an organization which never stops expanding the scope of its idealistic visions, representing the high-minded thinking which drew me, and most everybody, to Celebration in the first place.


Promoting the principles of New Urbanism , placing world class music within walking distance, feeding those who need to be fed, educating those who deserve to be educated, making it possible for ALL of us to see ourselves in the best possible way, as the kind of people who like-and help-our neighbors. I think it’s called community.


Under the extraordinary leadership of Gloria Niec The Celebration Foundation excels at identifying community needs and making meaningful efforts to eliminate them.


And as I am not getting any YOUNGER the Foundation’s Thriving in Place program holds the fascination of a super-shiny silver dollar lying in front of my feet, a promise that Celebration is a great place to be born, and to live until, well, you just AREN’T living anymore.

This is in PERFECT OPPOSITION to everything the Town Center Foundation Represents. Rather than “THRIVING IN PLACE” TCF operates on the principle of RUNNING IN PLACE.

To those who  fixate on the Malthusian decay of Town Center it is clear that NOTHING is ever truly repaired. The months of shuffling building materials around 709 Bloom Street exemplify the worst kind of construction, a HUNDRED CODE VIOLATIONS, ongoing water intrusion, cheesy finishing, still rotted wood hidden behind a layer of stucco, windows that will not open, and the end is NOT near. img_2181_26784879011_o

Town Center Foundation= Bad

On the DARK side of the moon, the unfortunately named “Town Center Foundation” is a Not-For-Profit Corporation created, controlled and master-minded by Lexin Capital/Metin Negrin. (Mr. Negrin would tell you that Lexin Capital does NOT control the Foundation, however Lexin Capital Officers have had 100% of the majority voting power for 100% of its 12 Year history of incorporation.

Ostensibly the Town Center Condominium Association unit owners are ALL  CLASS A members of the Town Center Foundation (which sounds impressive, the letter “A” resonating with being the best and all) yet the CLASS A members SOLE participation in any Town Center Foundation fiesta is to watch Captain Queeg roll those little balls around in his palms while counting out scoops of representational sand/strawberries. Metin/Queeg appears nervous even though he KNOWS he has ALL of the votes in the boardroom TIMES THREE.And why shouldn’t he? After all, HE wrote the documents

In The DCCRO The Town Center Foundation is charged with maintaining pretty much every square inch of Town Center.

6.5 Maintenance of Shared Facilities. The Foundation will be responsible for the Maintenance of the Shared Facilities.img_4956_26863119472_o


6.6 Maintenance of the Component Facilities. The Foundation will be responsible for the Maintenance of the Component Facilities, including Component Building exteriors.


6.7 Requirements. All Maintenance will be performed in a good workmanlike manner, by employees or agents of the Owners or the Foundation, as applicable, or by licensed contractors which carry public liability insurance and employer liability insurance in amounts usual and customary for the work undertaken and such worker’s compensation insurance as required by law: 

Just re-reading these sections makes me feel a bit light-headed. I am happy that the GOOD Foundation will be around to help me avoid what without them would surely be a trip to the Home For The Bewildered.


A Tale of Ruth

Prince Harry meets 95 year old Ruth Uffleman
Prince Harry meets 95 year old Ruth Uffleman at the wheelchair tennis on the final day of the Invictus Games Orlando 2016  on May 12, in Orlando, Florida.

During our years-long dysfunctional relationship with Lexin Capital the owners in Town Center have, of necessity, developed a Codified Rules of Survival. Most often called upon is Rule Number 8,  Never Cry Over Something That Can’t Cry Over You.

Because if we welled up EVERY time we encountered a rotting beam or a leaking roof or spotted the banner-like shaggy tarps flying over BOTH sides of Market Street, well, massive drifts of soggy Kleenex would clog Market Street and collect in the entryway of the AMC Theater and on the Banks of Lake Rianhard. They would be visible from SPACE, just like those acres of floral tributes to Princess Diana.
Screen Shot 2016-08-06 at 1.57.34 PM
And SPEAKING of seeing things from space, it is now SUPER EASY to-on Google Earth- pinpoint Town Center, using the Lexin  extraterrestrial communications device-innocent blue tarps to those who don’t know better, but SO obvious to us as landing pads. Or birthing pools for their young, we never know.
 And SPEAKING of TARPS, the Google Earth shot has them looking PRETTY spiffy. But that was long ago (taken on March 6th) when they were young and pretty and full of HOPE. Once again, Don’t cry…
But news of a NEW TARP-no, NOT a second Tarp, but a THIRD TARP from the Lexin Foundation Bunker is meant to be ENCOURAGEMENT, the relentless kind of encouragement spoon-fed to hostages constantly being promised a bath. This news has created a reflexive grab for our Codified Rules of Survival, Rule Number 3, Believe NONE of What You Hear and HALF of What You See from Lexin.



Not exactly the kind of day one hopes for at 91…
At last, sadly, the real purpose of this post, is to openly grieve over the loss of a woman who SURELY would have cried over us, Ruth Uffelman, Town Center’s Queen Mother, our moral compass, our passion and our hero. It is outrageous that at 91, her porch gone,  her windows tarped, her garden destroyed by endless construction delays and mishaps, she was forced to spend the last six months of her life entombed in a single room of her home, eating meals off a tray on her bed, while Metin Negrin stalled and maneuvered mightily in his attempt to gain advantages, and to profit by the very chaos he created. The value of our units has been decimated by the Foundation’s neglect, and in the fear and disarray created Mr. Negrin swoops, even now purchasing three units while allowing the buildings to collapse around us.
Ruth expressed herself often about Lexin, referring to them as “thieves” in a February meeting, and just two days before her death stood at the CNOA meeting, speaking her last words about the indignities and sociopathic callousness of Lexin’s failure to act. All of us heard her, and her iconic spirit is the inspiration for the TCCA Codified Rules of Survival Rule Number 1- Remember Ruth. Do Not Give Up.
We promise Ruth, we are NOT throwing away our shot.

Reaped by The Walt Disney Company

Screen Shot 2016-06-04 at 5.42.25 PM

The antics of Lexin Capital and the Machiavellian Town Center Foundation burble around in my head endlessly ,as we seek to unravel their super-puzzling approach to the Care and Management of Celebration Town Center. Depending on the days events our observations, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, bounce back and forth between a firm conviction that Metin Negrin has a mind of Madoffian Brilliance and yet, MAYBE The Town Center Foundation should be simply misted with nutrients and water twice a week. It is like an ENDLESS game of Candyland, without the structural soundness of the ORIGINAL gameboard but WITH all of the sudden recurring catastrophes which gave Candyland its essential infinite loopy ENDLESSNESS, firmly establishing its reputation-along with Chutes and Ladders-as one of the MOST to-be-avoided games ever. Don’t I wish our little game of “TownCenter Land” could be put on the top shelf, far out of reach of the children in charge, SO in need of Adult Supervision.

All this talk of “LANDS” steers me back to the creator of lands, The Walt Disney Company, for our purposes ALSO known as The Celebration Company. Because, much as we love to consider Lexin The Source of our continued affliction, I came here, bought here and stayed here because of The Walt Disney Company.
And The Branding of The Walt Disney Company is arguably THE most successful advertising and emotional manipulation campaign since the naming of “Greenland “. I was so addicted to the emotional promise of Disney World that at the tearful end of every bank-busting trip, the FIRST thing I would do-after wedging myself into the middle seat of a crowded flight-was to plot the accumulation of enough cash to return. Given that mindset, I had no more free will than The Manchurian Candidate, a lifetime of Cubby and Karen and that damn sparkling castle having rearranged my synapses.And I am NOT special, there are millions of us who have funded Disney’s rise to power. EMOTION is the basis of the Brand, and The Walt Disney Company knows full well that when Mickey has a four-fingered grip on our hearts and minds, our money will follow.

Where it becomes abusive is when marketing fails to distinguish between delivering a magical week in a Themed Suite-which Disney does every day every year in a FLAWLESS fashion-and using the same methodology to deliver a HOME in a COMMUNITY OF THEIR DESIGN. This requires FAR greater thought and care and responsibility as it is more a MARRIAGE than a “date”. Because we were presented with a CONTRACT here in Celebration, and the Pre-Nuptial agreement was very, very, detailed. Potential residents paid attorneys to review these legal commitments, which of course could not be altered in ANY way no matter what, and then settled back as they found assurance in the fact that THEIR contract was created by The Walt Disney Company, a Corporation (and a carefully crafted brand) which in MANY minds implies a greater warranty and sense of security than the full faith of the United States government. I mean I have Disney Dollars which are worth more today than when I bought them, more than I can say about US Currency.

Back to Lexin Capital, definitely NOT the Walt Disney Company. But the Chain of Custody over the care and maintenance of our property was, in MASSIVE documents, legally attached to the transfer of Celebration Town Center. So while WE had no idea who Lexin Capital was (most of us with ALL our might wish that were STILL the case) The Walt Disney Company provided assurance to us that ALL would continue as before. In their contract that is defined as until the death of the last surviving descendent of Queen Elizabeth II, the present Queen of England. Really.

Up next, Deceptive Advertising.