Osceola County Inspectors DO Just That.

IMG_4974
That one, right over YOUR head there, with those CRACKS in it-that is called an EYE beam.

Trundle past the increasingly pale and wan Suntrust Bank towards Market Street-Actually it might be BEST if you crossed Celebration Avenue at Sycamore and continued on the Imagination Realty/Waterstreet Condominiums side. I suggest this as the Chief Inspector from the Osceola County Building Office came to Celebration yesterday, resulting in the following notice.Screen Shot 2016-04-12 at 3.33.05 PM

So I am thinking that walking near those balconies MIGHT not be advisable any time in the near future. Not that any of the REST of the structures in Town Center are better off, their secrets remain secure (hahaha) behind Celebration’s Premier building envelope system, Some Kind of Stucco-Like Product on Green Wood, therefore the extent of their structural damage is hidden from us as much as possible.After ALL, this is NOT our business.

Metin Negrin/Lexin Capital/TCF- retained Dan Dixon early in 2015-ostensibly to perform an engineering report on all of the buildings in Town Center so that, under Town Hall/CNOA’s tutelage he might “spiff-up” the downtown-(emphasis and verbiage are mine) but interestingly enough The Report was COINCIDENTAL to the timing of a REFINANCING of Celebration Town Center. A document such as this would have been essential to the procurement of such a significant loan-it is in excess of $34,000,000, and replaced a 2007 mortgage in the amount of $23,000,000, plus or minus.(While NOT a math wiz I will suggest that Mr. Negrin took MORE than 10 but LESS than 12 MILLION dollars back to his lair-after closing costs, of course.

SO, I am thinking a loan like that, he would have needed a NICE engineering study from a licensed Architect to add GRAVITAS to his appraisal. (Actually Lexin Gravitas sounds like one of the DOZENS of LLC’s under which he operates-OH NO I STAND CORRECTED, IT IS LEXIN VERITAS, which I find hysterical.) True enough, Mr. Dixon did NO destructive testing in his analysis. But the final document was quite EXTENSIVE and, according to Mr. Dixon, ran about 485-FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE- pages. Now THAT is a report.

We owners yearned-and continue to live lives of GREAT yearning-to grip a copy of that report. And we have tried, and tried again, through a virtual CURLING TEAM of attorneys to GET A LOOK at an honest overview of just what shape our homes are in, to know what to expect, how we can move forward.

I was always afraid of an overdue library book, so remain stunned that those crisp letters on VERY expensive paper which are delivered, with signatures required, can be SO totally ignored. Wow. There is a LOT more to this topic however I need a glass of Gin before I can deliver a pithy synopsis. (Is it “pithy” or “pissy”, I always get those two confused.)

I do want to very quickly add that earlier we received a 15 page “summary” and ALL is well, so don’t worry anymore.

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